ginagtops:

As a list writer, I enjoy reading all kinds of lists, especially lists put out by Askmen.com, when they think they know how women think and what they want.  Above is a title of one of their lists they put out for men to read and get advice on. 

Guys, if you ever consider any of these options, you will get kicked in the balls.  Weight is just an issue you are to never discuss with a girl.  Plus, she probably deals with your fat-ass, so get over yourself and start focus on losing weight yourself rather than critiquing her!

Enjoy douchebaggery at its finest!

1. Buy her clothes that are too small

If you buy her clothes that are obviously too small for her, not only will she finally have to admit that she’s putting on weight, but she can easily return them for her correct size. First, she’ll have to reveal to you that the clothes are too small. “Oh,” you might say, “I thought you were a size 8. Isn’t that what you were last summer?” The onus is now on her to do something about it. 

First of all, I would never let a guy buy me clothes. Second of all, I’d be more focused on thinking he doesn’t know me if he doesn’t know what size clothes I wear than thinking I’m fat.

2. Serve her unsatisfactory portions

When dishing up meals for the two of you, try giving her smaller-than-usual amounts. By making her ask for more food, you might succeed in shaming her into an acknowledgment of her recent weight gain, and hopefully to instigate a conversation about what she’s going to do about it. If you feel as though you’re starving yourself in the process, remember you can always go back for more when she’s not looking.

Don’t you just love feeling like a prisoner by having your food rationed to you? 

3. Playfully grab her love handles

Ask any man and he’ll tell you that he instinctively flexes his biceps whenever a woman touches them. The same thing goes for a woman when you make contact with any unwanted flab: She recoils and feels embarrassment. Use this reaction to your advantage. Even if she thinks that you’re too busy at work to have noticed a few extra pounds, if you continually rest your hand on her love handles (or even lightly pinch them), she’ll soon realize that you’re becoming increasingly aware of something that never used to be there before.

Isn’t the point of a relationship making someone feel good about themselves rather than put them down? Fine. You can grab my love handles, I’ll just say I’ve faked it everytime.

4. Ask her to wear an old dress

Plan a romantic night out for the two of you and insist that she wears something from when you first got together; particularly something that you know doesn’t fit her anymore. This way she’ll have to admit to you that she’s put on too much weight and can no longer get into many of her old clothes. Follow it up by telling her how good she looked in those days, and maybe she’ll make it her mission to get back to that size.

You really think you would notice our weight gain before us? Really? Have you ever talked to a non skinny woman in the united states? We all obsess over our looks/weight. We notice every flaw and magnify it 100x in our minds.

5. Sabotage her chair

Sometimes as men we have to get downright nefarious to get what we want. You might not be proud of stooping to this level, but nothing says “better lose some weight” like a broken chair. After you loosen a few screws or remove some important slats of a chair in which you know she’ll sit and subsequently break, sit back and watch the guaranteed dietary transformation that ensues. It will profoundly amaze you.

Seriously?

Ok, I’m done with my Destiny’s Child-Independent-Woman moment. (Throw yo’ hands up at me)

Ahh Man! I wish he would!  This brings the LOLs to my face and the OMGs to stupidity at its finest.